So due to some personal things in our life that I don't think sharing with anyone who reads this is necessary, we have postponed the wedding. I started to feel way too much stress over paying for a week long vacation/wedding to Vegas with our family of 5 when in reality I can barely get the bills paid every month. I don't want our wedding to be something that is stressful. It should be something that is fun. Cam has said to me many times the past little while too that we both know it is meant to be and it will happen one day. So being patient for that to come is what I am desperately trying to do. So maybe the new plan will be to do something here, I am unsure yet. For now though we are trying to better ourselves for our kids and get our feet steady on the ground and then we can have fun planning it. Although I have to say that it is killing me to not show him my gorgeous dress!!!
So in the meantime here is what I am doing...
I quit smoking..AGAIN! Yes I have quit and restarting so many damn times it is ridiculous! But this time it is sticking and I am not starting again. It has been two weeks now and I am feeling pretty good about my decision.
I quit drinking Soda, well in reality Dr Pepper since that's really the only soda I drink, all day every day. It has been a week now without and I am definitely struggling with it! But I haven't caved yet and I am not going. I have a goal weight and a way I want my body to look and feel and those are two major things that are holding me back from that!
I also have been working out more. We have been taking walks with the kids every night that I am not in school and hopefully that can move up to more activities. I am determined to run the Salt Lake Marathon next April, yes the whole 26.2 miles, and so I am getting myself started now.
So yes I am pretty upset that we won't be able to take our kids on a trip to Vegas in two months and get married. But really I have a lot to be thankful for and one day maybe next summer we can take them. That is the goal. The goal is to be married by that time and be able to know that we had fun doing it. Not letting myself think how it's not fair that I don't get to have a normal dad around to help with it sucks but that's the reality of it. I have lots of other people to lean on and especially Cameron.