Tuesday, July 31, 2012

Wedding Plan Changes & Life Changes

So due to some personal things in our life that I don't think sharing with anyone who reads this is necessary, we have postponed the wedding.  I started to feel way too much stress over paying for a week long vacation/wedding to Vegas with our family of 5 when in reality I can barely get the bills paid every month.  I don't want our wedding to be something that is stressful. It should be something that is fun. Cam has said to me many times the past little while too that we both know it is meant to be and it will happen one day.  So being patient for that to come is what I am desperately trying to do. So maybe the new plan will be to do something here, I am unsure yet. For now though we are trying to better ourselves for our kids and get our feet steady on the ground and then we can have fun planning it.  Although I have to say that it is killing me to not show him my gorgeous dress!!! 
So in the meantime here is what I am doing...
I quit smoking..AGAIN! Yes I have quit and restarting so many damn times it is ridiculous! But this time it is sticking and I am not starting again. It has been two weeks now and I am feeling pretty good about my decision. 
I quit drinking Soda, well in reality Dr Pepper since that's really the only soda I drink, all day every day.  It has been a week now without and I am definitely struggling with it! But I haven't caved yet and I am not going. I have a goal weight and a way I want my body to look and feel and those are two major things that are holding me back from that! 
I also have been working out more.  We have been taking walks with the kids every night that I am not in school and hopefully that can move up to more activities.  I am determined to run the Salt Lake Marathon next April, yes the whole 26.2 miles, and so I am getting myself started now. 
So yes I am pretty upset that we won't be able to take our kids on a trip to Vegas in two months and get married.  But really I have a lot to be thankful for and one day maybe next summer we can take them. That is the goal. The goal is to be married by that time and be able to know that we had fun doing it. Not letting myself think how it's not fair that I don't get to have a normal dad around to help with it sucks but that's the reality of it. I have lots of other people to lean on and especially Cameron. 

Wednesday, July 25, 2012

Busiest July Ever!

Brendan 4th of July playing at Murray Park

 Well July always seems to be a very very busy month for us! We have the 4th of July, the 24th of July, Janes Birthday and Cams birthday.  So there are a lot of pictures here! 

Caysen 4th of July, he loved playing with the glow sticks, or just chewing on them really!

Our family, 4th of July at Sugar house waiting for the Fireworks to start.

These two had way too much fun, 4th of July.

Me and my girl, 4th of July, playing at Murray park.

Snow cones! Everywhere we go, we must get snow cones!

Me and Cam waiting for fireworks to start, 4th of July.  For his 30th birthday we spent the night in Wendover alone.  It's nice to be able to have at least 24 hours with just me and him! And of course I forgot to take a picture the whole time we were there, but it was fun.  Happy 30th birthday baby!

Janey girl every year on her birthday.  She turned 3 July 16th.  I can't believe how funny, sassy, and incredibly smart my beautiful girl is! We love her so so much and couldn't even imagine what my life would be like without her in it everyday with all her grown up conversations that she has with me.  She is probably the most curious little girl ever and wants to understand everything. 

We went to Seven Peaks a few days before her birthday with Aunt Erin, Aunt Doireann and some cousins.

Big Girl Bike! She loves it! We have been taking a lot of trips to the skate park to let her ride around and she is in heaven with all the pink!

Caysen is sitting up! He crawls everywhere already, says Dad over and over, and when we left him laying down for a minute while we were cleaning and moving some stuff around, we came back in and he had sat himself up and was just playing! Such a big boy!

Clearly Dad is his favorite. I try to get him to say mom and he looks at me, laughs, and says Dad.

B watching the 24th of July parade. He wanted to give everyone in the parade a high five, he managed to get I think three of them! He was pretty excited!

Bagpipes - will always remind me of Michael! Miss you brother!

Daddy and Cays watching the 24th of July parade. Caysen loved it!

Me an B waiting for fireworks to start - 24th of July

Me and Janey waiting for fireworks to start - 24th of July.

Caysen and Daddy, can ya tell he liked them! He was like this the whole time watching them and laughing! 24th of July

Janey watching the parade, it was even better since she got away with drinking a pepsi while watching it! - 24th of July

Monday, June 18, 2012

Fathers Day Weekend

We had a lot of fun this weekend for Fathers Day.   I am so grateful to have Cameron in my life forever not only for me but for our kids too! He is such a good daddy to them and definitely has a lot more patience then me a lot of the time. Caysen just lights up when he sees him and is always grinning from ear to ear when Cam is holding him or playing with him. We went to Seven peaks on Saturday and then  Liberty park on Sunday.  It was all the kids first time going to Seven Peaks and Casyens first time swimming ever.

Cays instantly loved the water and wanted to just float in there the entire afternoon.  His favorite was the wave pool for sure.  Every time the water came up he would jump on it! He is such a funny boy. 
We gave him part of a Churro too since he thinks he is a big boy who can eat real food now! He loved it!  

We let B and Jane get some cotton candy at Liberty Park.  Of course it was pink! And Janes first time eating it, she loved it! Took her a minute to figure out she couldn't suck on it but after she learned how to eat it she wouldn't stop! 

Cays looks more and more like Cameron every day.  He is going to be one handsome man one day! So glad he gets to have Cameron as an example of how to treat woman and how to never give up on anything in his life! 

Well right off the bat Jane almost drowned at Seven Peaks.  Her and B went to go up a slide and the water was only up to her knees but she couldn't get her balance and B was laughing too hard to help her.  So after that she stayed right next to me the entire time and was a bit scared! We are going to need to have swimming lessons this year for them both! 

 B went across these Rope Monkey Bars at least 20 times at Seven Peaks.  He loves them! We saw him only a few times the whole three hours we were there.  He had a blast and I love that I can trust him enough to not do anything crazy and stay where we tell him to!

Wednesday, May 30, 2012

Big Changes...

Past few weeks have been crazy busy with some pretty big changes around here. 

Cam and I got to spend a night in Wendover.  It was so much fun! I have never gambled, even on slot machines.  Well now we know why! I SUCK! I lost anything I played with.  But luckily Cam has great luck and won it all back for me! We both get so caught up in the everyday life of trying to raise three kids, and both work full time, and have me in school, that we forget to spend time together and forget how much fun we can have! We are definitely going to need to do this more often.  Even once every other month having a night a lone out somewhere would be more then we do now for sure!

My baby graduated Kindergarten! I know he is not my baby anymore, but I wish he was! Me and B have been through a lot together that is for sure.  This boy changed my life and made it possible to have the life I have now clean from Heroin and Meth.  I still can remember the day I knew I was for sure pregnant with him, and the overwhelming relief I felt knowing he is what I needed to stop with all the chaos!  I love him so much and am so proud of him.  He is so smart and loves being the big brother!  

Finally SUMMER is here! So glad I can send these two outside with a sprinkler and they are busy for hours!

 Our Chunky Monkey, AKA Caysen, is finally rolling over! He  has finally decided to stop being so lazy! Only problem is now he won't stop rolling.  Even in bed, we get up cause he will be making crazy noises, and we find him rolled over into the corner stuck!  He is definitely going to be the comedian of the family!
 I think this might have been the few weeks of many changes, but also one very emotional change!  Uncle Matt, AKA ELDER Fierce as some may call him, left to serve a 2 year mission in Fresno, California - Hmong Speaking! We are going to miss him so much.  I was certain Brendan would be the one to have the hardest time with this, it brought up a lot of feelings of when Uncle Michael left to go live with the angels as he calls it.  But to our surprise it was Jane who was a disaster the day we had to say bye! She cried her eyes out, and was so sad all night after, and even the next morning she was sad telling me she just wants her Uncle Matt.  We are so proud of Matt and the man he has become.  He will be an amazing missionary! He will also be overwhelmed with drawings from Jane and B for the next two years I am sure!

 Over the last few years, through thick and thin, my mother has been amazing! She has shown us all that no matter what happens, she loves us and is here for us through anything!

Tuesday, May 8, 2012

Love what we have become...

The past month or so has been pretty exciting! I found my wedding dress and bought it! I love it so much, it is perfect! Completely not the style I had originally thought, but thanks to my mom picking something out of the ordinary for me, I found the perfect one! I can not wait to see Cameron's face when he sees it, only 133 more days till I get to marry my best friend! Never in my life did I think this day would come!

We are loving that we finally have some nice weather!

For the past few months I have been talking to some of Brendans biological dads family, they are extremly awesome people and so loving to us even though we have never really known them.  A few weeks ago we finally got to meet them in person and had a wonderful time with them.  This is B with one of his cousins and a half sister.  He loved playing with these girls! I am so grateful that he can have them in his life now to love and support him.  

And the huge accomplishment of the month was B finally learning to actually jump rope! Yay! He has been working on this for quite a while so it was a pretty exciting morning when this happened! 

I am so grateful for these 3 kids, they are all so different and funny in their own little ways.  

Monday, March 12, 2012

March Craziness....

Well alot has been going on so far the past few weeks! Brendan had to have yet another surgery on his ears.  This poor kid has had way too many surgeries and hopefully this will be the last.  He now has his fourth set of ear tubes and hopefully the third set moving to the wrong spot in his ear didn't cause anymore permanent damage to them.  He will get a hearing test in a couple weeks to make sure. 

Caysen is growing way too fast! Up to 13 pounds and in size 2 diapers, not ok with me!:( Why can't he stay my small baby forever! He is so so so funny though which we love! So close to rolling over but still pretty lazy!

We went to Disney on Ice: Toy Story 3 this last weekend.  The kids loved it! I did not imagine Jane being as excited as she was to see Mickey and Minnie! Definitely was her favorite part!

 Her Jessie Hat, and you can't see it here but she had an awesome Jessie cup with a snow cone in it too!
 Woddy and hat and Alien snow cone.
 Brendan has started indoor soccer this last month also.  He loves it and is amazing at being the goalie, always blocks them! He has a few weeks left and starts T-Ball again.  I love watching him find things like this that he loves to do.  It helps him a lot to be able to do stuff without the little sis also! 

 This girl I thought had already been threw her terrible twos, and I was pretty relieved because they weren't so bad. YEAH RIGHT! Now I am regretting saying that because she is so hard to deal with some days lately! She has had a lot more go on in her life then most two years olds though also so she is handling how she knows how.  We love her though, she is either very very sweet or super upset, it's one dramatic to the other.  I can definitely tell that she is going to be like me when it comes to her feelings, loving you all the way when you love or fighting to the death when fighting and upset.